I don’t necessarily mean that Palos brings me pain, on the contrary it brings me much joy. However, in a recent twist of irony involving Palos, this rambling pays homage to the dire wait that I’ve been having with mother nature’s trails. Yesterday, I took off on a 95 mile trek southbound from the city, and played roadie with some friends on the pave. The usual hammerfest and the realization how fast roadies really ride in a testosterone infused training ride catapulted me into 26mph pacing and bursts of 30mph sprints – and that was just the first 30 miles. The route took us through the Willow Springs area and throughout various hilly subdivisions of Lemont. I longingly looked at the trees and listened as the wind blew the sweet smell of trails my way, teasing me as I spun on slicks nearby. Cars blew by us on some of the route, especially on the 55MPH posted areas, we had a few cars zoom by fast enough that we could feel the wind push us a bit on the shoulder. I’m not a fan of riding near traffic and the trepidatious thought actually reminded me that I owe the State of Illinois my traffic school attendance.

I received a speeding ticket on my way to Palos about three months ago as I zoomed off of I55 merging onto LaGrange South. It sucked but I knew I was busted and calmly collected my ticket. I haven’t received a speeding ticket until this point – so it was about due. I mailed in the non-guilty portion but declared to take the class. I got my notice about the class, and I registered and received the online permission slip that also states the date when the class needs to be completed by – it was August 8th. Of course – all of this flashes in my head as I’m barreling through the final hills of Hillside and the skies open up on us in a comical slap to the face after the weather report stated minimal to no chance of rain in the forecast for the day. We were blinded by the spray rocketing off of each others wheels and yet the pace remained above 22mph in the mad dash to avoid traffic and take advantage of a clear lane into the city. We made it back – tired, hungry, and drenched so much that I could hear my feet squish inside my shoes and feel bubbles of water form inside my spandex shorts.

Later in the evening, I made it a point to finish my online class of which I actually did start weeks ago in a vain attempt to multi-task at work. The class is designed to bore you to death in the diabolical hope that you’ll remember to drive consvertatively in your dreams and perhaps not in real life. The class is stated to take 4 hours. I started at 7:00PM, whilst watching television with the wife mind you, as I plodded the answers and review sections along one by one until 12:00AM when I reached the final module to complete – and at which time, promptly, unlike any state sponsored service known to mankind, the web application closed with a radio window stating “Your class is no longer accessible at this time”. I turned into a pumpkin.

I called this morning to find out what level of hell I must navigate through to complete my course. I was on hold for almost 20 minutes with a message from the traffic school office that stated, “there are ‘zero’ callers ahead of you”, and it was followed by the general service announcements of how else you could gouge yourself with a pencil in your left eye to enjoy the multitude of services the traffic school had to offer. After about the 18th minute, a new message played stating “Call volume is very high at this time, you can press 1 to leave a callback number and a representative will call you as soon as possible”. So I did. That was about 7 hours ago. I’m not holding my breath. Considering the traffic school itself is a scam run by the Mayor’s family in yet another ploy to make money for someone else – I could give a crap now.

Once upon a time – I wanted to get to Palos. So badly – I sped like a mofo racing to get a dirt fix and paid the price. That is the pain of Palos that I’m willing to pay.

Speaking of the pain of the Palos – make sure you get your intervals on. You have less than 15 days to do some intervals to get you faster.

These folks want to help you!
Women’s Dirt Ride presented to you by Half Acre Cycling.
Church Cross presented to you by Flatlandia.