It’s a bird, its a plane, its, its..uh..big white bus?!

If you’ve been doing it in the dirt this cyclocross season, then you’ve most likely been reminded by the greatest cyclocross fan ever to come to Chicago – the Cuttin’ Cruiser. The Cuttin’ Cruiser is friend to all and supporter to anyone willing to partake in the fun that the Cuttin’ Crew team dishes out on a weekly basis on the CX circuit. The famed white bus has traveled long and far in search of track, road, and cyclocross races to bring the Chit-town love, first class to the heckling lines.

“Can’t we all just get along?” – Cuttin’ Cruiser

Why are we spotlighting this interview for this white metallic wunderkind? Because the Cruiser has singlehandedly defined and upheld the fun statue that should be associated with cyclocross. Any such devoted supporter of the off-road cycling scene, is a friend of The Bonebell. The Cruiser has enthralled fans and has invited hecklers to up the ante at every race and most importantly – provided a couch to spread the cheer while holding your High Life. The Cruiser does this for ‘everyone’.

The Cuttin’ Cruiser has its challenges – it ain’t a wimpy electric powered tree huggin’ hippie Honda – its the American beast guzzling its way to heckle you. It hauls ass and hauls asses and needs your support to keep it going. If you ever wanted to hang with the Cuttin’ Crew, its as easy as stopping by and saying “Hi, I’m Joe Schmoe, I’d like to share a beer with you!” In return, you may get a hot dog, a beer, and the best heckling since Rodney Dangerfield in “Back To School”. If you want to see that vibe continue at CX races, and perhaps even at a 24 Hour Mountain Bike event, donate, spare a few bucks to keep the only friend rollling who won’t turn you down if you need a lift.

The Cuttin Crew will even sweeten the deal and have t-shirts available for your purchase at this next race in Bloomingdale, IL. If you’re a filthy lucre than perhaps you can snag one before anyone else at their party at ‘The Cave’ the Friday before the race.

Please consider donating -

So here are the fine words of wisdom from the Cuttin’ Cruiser.

1. What team were your previously associated with and how did you come to join the CCC?
My past is hazy at best. It certainly has little, if anything to do, with cycling. Apparently my roots are in the South, Alabama orsomething; then I was found, and upgraded by a man in Indiana. From there, I was bought and met my final upgrades from an engineer in Detroit. He took good care of me until it came time to part ways and I was listed on eBay three times. Tom, a dispatcher at Service First found me and sent out word. The hunt for a new Cuttin’ Crew van was over and I was Chicago bound. I can’t help but wonder if the next stop will probably be the scrapyard.

2. Some say you are a high maintenance team member – how do they deal with you?
Well, mechanically speaking I’m pretty fit. Aside from the recent incident there haven’t been many issues. I do soak up $2400 annually in rent, insurance isn’t always pleasant, a regular oil change and 4 MPG’s don’t help my rep, but I’m on board to be used and the gang does what they can to ensure that demand gets met. Whether it’s digging deep to split up rent, wielding a wrench or organizing fundraisers they get the job done.

3. Do you have any big plans in store for 2010?
Every year has been a grind. 2-3 nights a week going to the oval. 3 or 4 weekend races a month and every cyclocross race of the CCC season. One highlight for 2010 is in its planning stages. It would help facilitate “The Great Tour of Midwestern Velodromes” or something like that. It would entail highlighting a worthwhile weekend of races at every velodrome within driving distance and getting a large enough Chicago contingent to travel and experience different competition at different ovals. Turns out that the other velodrome organizers and racers REALLY appreciate having new blood to chase around and we should all be so lucky to see this plan come to fruition. That and it would still be great to hit up one of them 24 Hour MTB races.

4. People easily spot you at all the events you attend, does this make you self-conscious?
I always thought my hips looked so big in those side mirrors.

5. You have been known to be incredibly kind to Junior racers such as the Yojimbo’s Track Cats – but – have you ever lost your cool with the adult team members, come on be honest?
Bradley and I haven’t spoken since the chamois butt’r incident. I’ve probably said too much with that.

6. You rarely ever ask for help for yourself and your teammates do a good job of covering for you – but while you’re speaking to the public – what do want them to know on how to best support you and why?
The Bust Fund has seen tons of support. The team started a t-shirt run with the leftover dough in hopes of making the rainy day fund grow. It’s a steep $20 donation to get a t-shirt “Thank You!” but it’s for the cause. Collectively, we’ve got a simple cause. It’s really just a matter of justifying every trip. It’s rare that rides are exclusive to the team. Dare to ask for a lift. Be game to join in for a ride to race or be a hero and go solely to spectate. If watching a race isn’t appealing enough, maybe the novelty of the journey will be. Either way, the more the merrier. It helps with gas, it makes things more fun, and it is really what this whole idea is about.

7. You’re a true American traveler – what race venue have you been most stoked about having taken your teammates to?
This is a VERY hard question. Maiden voyage to Toronto. Stuporbowl. Kenosha. Especially Al winning the Mayor’s Cup (we weren’t even gonna go that night). Teeners’s 2nd and the team win at the 2009 State RR (another near no-show). A coupla nights with a full rig to NB. Quad cities was a blast. The return back to the Chi-Cross Cup scene only a week after the breakdown was nice. They all turn out being great in their own right.

8. You’ve been a fine shade of white for a while now – ever think of joining a reality makeover show?
That, or sitting out exposed in Humboldt Park for a week… There are things in the works, always said it, but it’s coming. Although there are certainly merits to being incognito to the untrained eye on these streets.

9. Outside of cycling – what are your other interests?
The usual you’d expect with a bus. College Football games with college kids. College Football games with actual kids. Picking up drunken friends on any random night of kindness. Tattoo and Piercing conventions (those nights were insane). And, of course, the moves. Moving friends to and fro their old and new apartments. That’s definitely the most popular “interest”.

10. It may not be proper to ask you this – but – how much mileage have people ridden on you?
I just looked at that a little while ago, about 12,000 miles in 18 months?

11. How do you handle road rage?
I like this question. When Adam, Ben and Jeff go from being on a bike to driving a bus it’s like a whole special level of vengeance. Just take it slower, wider and louder and EVERYONE falls into line. It’s like all those cars that bully you on the bike actually do follow their own code of “bigger is better”. It’s disturbing how satisfying that can be.

12. Is there any chance that a CX race could actually go ‘through’ you? up the stairs and out the back or something to that effect?
That would certainly make it easier on deciding where to put the couches.

13. Given the option what would you upgrade to first? Zipp Wheels or a new Edelbrock Turbocharger?
Ya know, the heater controls got swapped out for air horn controls a while back. Certainly a fine idea but ever since running out of gas in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin at 3 AM on a 14 degree January night on the way to Stuporbowl, sometime or another you just gotta stop answering the either/ors and start considering ways to have both…
…oh, and Zipps.

14. Final Question – Decepticon or Autobot?
Can’t we all just get along?

The Bonebell concludes with this final picture that exemplifies the spirit brought to you from the confines of the heavy Chevy – rock on Cruiser, rock on.