After the Take a Roadie Off Road Day, we took the crew back to Seegs’ southside villa and roasted up some encased meats over an open flame. A clown bike was spotted in his garage, and all of a sudden it was on like Donkey Kong. There were some memorable corners, one very similar to the Jackson Park 08 pinwheel of death, and the Bar Top Jugular Corner was always a near miss in the blood spurting out of the neck department. The results are now posted you have 15 minutes to contest.

1. Parker 23.96 (Seegs didn’t believe my time was legit so he grabbed the stopwatch and I pulled a 21.08, and I made him a believer. This was unfortunately after the official competition)
2. Seegs 25.01 (home course, and bike advantage was not enough for our gracious host)
3. Pat Neuman 25.06 (definitely had his game face on, but couldn’t quit reach the top end speed needed for the top step)
4. Kirby 25.61 (As per usual, he tried to make a physics lesson out of the race)
5. Nico 26.31 (He missed the ride at Palos, so that helped his legs for the main event)
6. Julia 27.50 (the fastest women by far, she’s a ripper when the trails get twisty)
7. Greg and Sunny 29.60 (Greg pulled out an unofficial 24.92 later in the day, and Sunny definitely rocked the most stylish lap of the day, but the numbers do not lie, they tied)
9. Sandra 29.81 (New to the trails and clown bike time trials, she rocked it all)
10.Will Pankonin 29.82 (elapsed time was 35.82, but he took an illegal whisky hand up and that subtracted 6 seconds from his time)
11.Matt Stevenson 30.78 (contrary to the back of his shirt, maybe he should have taken some steroids)
12.Charlotte Pankonin 35.79 (She may have held the lantern rouge, but there is great solace knowing that at least she tried, those who did not know who they are and will have to live with the shame of declining to line up for their registered start time.)

DQ – Liam 25.07 (He cut the course, you have to stay on course, that’s a DQ)

DNS- Tamara Fraser (Still recovering from getting separated from the group for an hour, lost in the woods, and probably screaming curse words about Parker and Seegs for getting her lost in the damn woods. She was however quite gracious about the whole thing)
DNS- Bob Willems (Overserved)
DNS- Gigi Norcross (The only real excuse she had was a skirt, but Bob said there were some shorts in the car so who knows the real story there)
DNS- Jeff Holland (Claims to be on the injured reserve, but he had no problem negotiating the trails so it looked like the collarbone had healed up just fine)
DNS- Dave Thomas (I think he’s got issues with clowns, so naturally, that would extend to a clown bike as well)

And if you note the picture below of Stiggity on the clown bike you will no doubt take notice of the style, and speed needed to excel in an event of this nature. Make no mistake, you need both.