So how many cops does it take to bring this Bonebell rider down. One? Two? Three? Well the answer is 4 coppers in three squad cars. That’s right – this little vato has so much mayhem apparently that a little ‘lip’ apparently went a long way and I got the attention of Chicago’s finest in front of one of my favorite establishment – a whole crowd mesmerized by the interaction of the blue lights pulsating in the Golden Apple on Lincoln and School. Gasps were seen. Vato brethren from the kitchen came out to the windows to give me fists pumps in the air. A couple of drivers actually did roll right in front of me and rolled their windows down and yelled ‘BOGUS!!’. My crime? I “allegedly” blew a red light at Lincoln and Diversey – and after sprinting down Lincoln after this “alleged” red light cruise – I got pulled over and asked to produce identification. I couldn’t believe the words coming out of the coppers mouth.
Now, I was in a great mood – I had just left Yojimbo’s Garage and had some great conversations with Jeff and Brean from The Cuttin Crew. I had just picked up my deck of Chrome Aces, lube, and brake pads – and I was en route to a grocery store to get my daughter some prune juice. I was doing my intervals – the way I like them – on the streets, sprinting light to light. LIGHT TO LIGHT – meaning I was not blowing through lights. The lights were my ‘break’ to catch my breath and regroup quickly before doing another hammer down on my trusty steed loaded down with my daily gear. When I got to the intersection I “allegedly” blew the red light at – I distinctly remember seeing the cop car. I went to the right and rolled ever so slowly through the crosswalk – and then I paused at the next crosswalk and rolled neatly across that crosswalk – both slowly, cautiously, and out of breath. I took that last soft left onto Lincoln and gave a sprint – and then the lights flashed. Nah not me – but then I saw the spotlight affixed on the sidewalk and by my wheels – I turned around and was blinded quickly by the light and slowly rolled over as by now the officer announced that ‘You, on the bike, pull over’. I complied, and had one foot still clipped in and I was panting – the occifer came up and pretty much announced that I was getting a ticket because “I was not above the law and I blew a red light”. My biggest mistake at this very instant which is a classic stupid kneejerk reaction I have – was to protest. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!” “Oh no sir, I don’t kid about thuh Lawww” I then said I was on my way to get prune juice for my girl – I have no idea why I thought that was going to defend me – but it seemed to antagonize the copper more. I gave one more, “You seriously are writing ‘me’ up?” – he then said “Oh, a little attitude eh?”.
I was screwed about that point – he went back to his car and within a few seconds a 2nd squad car pulled up, lights flashing, pulled over and this time a female officer asked me to get off my bike, put the bike aside and sit on the bench while she gave me a look over. She asked me repeatedly for my name, my address, and told me to drop the attitude as she was just doing her job – the Golden Apple (Bless You People!) were doing great gawking out the window and just amazed at what spectacle I just brought them. The fist jabbing in the air by the crew in the kitchen must’ve done something as a 3rd squad car pulled over and asked if they needed any help. Because you know, in Lakeview, on Lincoln, in front of the Golden Apple, in front of the ginormous Church – the guy that looks like an alien in bike gear a bike rack with a bag and blinky lights – is an ample threat to the three officers already at the scene. I am also pissed because this is now the 2nd time in 30 days that I have managed to get my license taken away - the 1st offense I can stomach and I’ll take it like a man because I was wrong. This one – bullshit. The amount of resources it took the city to prove a point to me was not worth the effort, the atttitude, or the sheer stupidity of everyone’s time wasted (35 minutes of 6 city officers, running cars, me, and the gapers traffic).
I didn’t pick up the prune juice, sorry girl, but my wifey understood and is still to this minute appalled that this is where our taxes have paid for. I am pissed as hell – and it’ll go away – but damnit, there is seriously some shit that needs cleaned up in this city – and my ass wasn’t one of those items.
See you in court, officers – you ain’t getting my money.